| View-Do List: Don't Tell the Schedule What it Can't Do! |
| Written by EJ Feddes |
| Monday, 08 March 2010 05:00 |
And if you need some cheering up, go to YouTube and find the opening theme for The Littlest Hobo. It was a 60’s show about a homeless dog who had amazing adventures. Not only is the song about the hobo life hilarious, there is a clip where the Littlest Hobo is running through the woods with a sniper rifle in his mouth. It is completely awesome. He also might be piloting a hot-air balloon. That’s not definite, though. The point is, this is the coolest dog ever. I am totally going to put together a pitch for a revival of that series. Maybe his sidekick can be a certain Pelt Baby…. Here’s what you’ll be watching this week! MONDAY
FOX
8-9 HOUSE – House treats an avid blogger who experiences sudden bruising and bleeding. Well, we’re clumsy. It happens. I believe this is also the episode where House tries speed-dating, and I am ridiculously excited by that. 9-10 24 – A CTU employee is demoted, which I assume has to be Chloe, since we don’t care about any of the others. And you know who could help Jack with the nuclear threat? The Littlest Hobo, that’s who! That dog is a crack shot!
NBC
8-9 CHUCK – Chuck has to sit out a mission because he’s stopped flashing. No, that doesn’t mean what it sounds like. Also, I’m very sorry that I didn’t announce that last week’s episode featured a mini-Sopranos reunion with Paulie Walnuts and Skip Lipari. Who, interestingly, never appeared in a scene together while they were on The Sopranos.
CBS
8-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – Jennifer Lopez guest-stars. Oy. Are we still paying attention to her?
ABC
8-10 THE BACHELOR – Wedding Special! It’s the 2nd successful pairing in 100 seasons. Will Jason go through with it or change his mind at the last minute again? He was the one who did that, right?
*** all Late Night listings are lovingly copy & pasted from Talk Show News ***
David Letterman: Kelly Ripa, Lady Antebellum
Jay Leno : Simon Cowell, Richard Roeper, Ben Harper Jimmy Kimmel : Robin Wright, Jason Mesnick & Molly Malaney, Corinne Bailey Rae Craig Ferguson : Isaac Mizrahi Jimmy Fallon : Abigail Breslin, Chris Parnell, Ted Leo Carson Daly : Rerun TBA Tavis Smiley : Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jeremy Renner, Jeff Bridges Daily Show : Harry Markopolos Colbert Report : Tom Hanks Chelsea Lately : Kevin McKidd, John Caparulo, Chris Franjola, Arden Myrin Lopez Tonight : Evan Lysacek, Don Cheadle, Annalynne McCord, J. Alexander The View : Chris Cuomo, guest co-host Vanessa Williams Regis and Kelly : Chace Crawford, Jason Mesnick & Molly Malaney, guest co-host Mark Consuelos Ellen DeGeneres : Sandra Bullock (R 11/25/09) Bonnie Hunt : Joe Pantoliano, Estelle Harris “Teenagers are cruel, and they will undoubtedly taunt us because our trousers are not in style anymore!” – Councilman 3 TUESDAY
FOX
8-9 AMERICAN IDOL – The top eight female semifinalists perform. Boy, if we keep trimming the numbers, we’ll have room on the schedule for Glee in no time!
ABC
9-10 LOST – Last week was pretty dark, right? I don’t know that it’s getting any better this week, with its focus on Benry. And according to the promo “The man who’s responsible for so much death will face his own demise.” There’s no way they’re killing him at this point, right? I mean, he’s going to have to pay for his sins at some point, but I’m not ready for that to happen just yet.
NBC
10-11 PARENTHOOD – Hey, the first episode was pretty good! And the cast includes Lorelai Gilmore, Nate Fisher, Mr. Incredible, and Arrested Development’s Bland. I mean Ann.
David Letterman: Julianna Margulies, grocery bagging champion Kyle Perry, Broken Bells
Jay Leno: Christoph Waltz, Dave Salmoni, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts Jimmy Kimmel: Gabourey Sidibe, Josh Hopkins, Gary Allan Craig Ferguson: Lisa Kudrow, Adhir Kalyan Jimmy Fallon: Chelsea Handler, Matt Walsh, Allman Brothers Carson Daly: T-Pain, aerial base jumper Miles Daisher, David Gray Tavis Smiley: Sandra Bullock Daily Show: Marc Thiessen Colbert Report: Annie Leonard Chelsea Lately: Ben Gleib, Brad Wollack, Natasha Leggero (R 2/25/10) Lopez Tonight: Freddie Prinze Jr., Steve Austin The View: Andy Garcia, Dominik Garcia-Lorido, Elissa Stein & Susan Kim Regis and Kelly: Chelsea Handler, "Toy Guy" Chris Byrne, guest co-host Andy Richter Ellen DeGeneres: Nicole Richie Bonnie Hunt: Betty White, Stephen J. Dubner, Logan Lerman (R 2/17/10) WEDNESDAY
ABC
8-8:30 SCRUBS – Kelso and Cole lean on each other for support, and this will officially be the most twisted Scrubs pairing yet. Also, hey ABC, thanks for finding room on the schedule! Think maybe you can get some Better Off Ted in there? Maybe?
9-9:30 MODERN FAMILY – Oh man. You know how this show is pretty hilarious? Well, this week features Judy Greer as Phil’s high school girlfriend. If you asked me what I would like to see added to Modern Family, I would have three suggestions. Numbers 2 and 3 would be the Littlest Hobo and Pelt Baby, and Judy Greer (of Arrested Development and Archer) would be number 1.
FOX
8-9 HUMAN TARGET – You know who’s absolutely making this show? Jackie Earle Haley. Granted, the fact that he managed to nail it as Rorschach means that I will love him forever, so I may be biased.
9-10 AMERICAN IDOL – The top eight male semifinalists perform. Is one of them Taylor Lautner? All the kids seem to be talking about him these days. (NOTE: I am old.)
David Letterman: Jessica Simpson, Alkaline Trio
Jay Leno: Kristen Stewart, Guy Fieri, Ryan Bingham Jimmy Kimmel: Tom Papa, Manchester Orchestra Craig Ferguson: Dominic Monaghan, Lindsay Sloane, the Temper Trap Jimmy Fallon: Forrest Whitaker, Rachael Harris Carson Daly: David Arquette, Lisa Hannigan Tavis Smiley: James Cameron Daily Show: Jerry Seinfeld Colbert Report: Sean Carroll Chelsea Lately: Amy Ryan, Jo Koy, Donnell Rawlings, Jen Kirkman Lopez Tonight: Lenny Kravitz, Khloe & Lamar Odom, Emilio Estefan The View: Forest Whitaker, Jesse Ventura Regis and Kelly: America Ferrera, Bret Michaels, guest co-host Ludacris Ellen DeGeneres: Dominic Monaghan, Jonathan Safran Foer, Melanie Fiona Bonnie Hunt: Bill Engvall, Jackie Collins, Noah Mills THURSDAY
NBC
8-8:30 COMMUNITY – American Idol alum Katharine McPhee appears as
8:
9-9:30 THE OFFICE – Michael tries to impress the new boss, but more importantly, Erin and Andy go on their first date! I so want these two to work out - they’re kind of perfect for each other, and too screwed up to make anybody else happy.
9:30-10 30 ROCK – Liz meets a man at the dentist’s office, Jack is endangered by a rumor, and Jenna helps
FOX
8-9 AMERICAN IDOL – Four young people are rejected by the public on live television. Not so much fun when you think of it that way…
9-10 KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – Gordon helps revive a French restaurant in
CBS
8-9 SURVIVOR – No kidding, last week’s episode opened with Coach openly sobbing for five minutes that not everybody thinks he’s completely awesome. If he ever finds out what I think of him, he’s going to become a cutter.
ABC
9-10 GREY’S ANATOMY – Bailey gets ready for a date with Ben. Ben Linus? Because that would be a weird episode. Does that mean that Grey’s exists in Timeline X?
FX
10-10:30 ARCHER – Archer takes a higher-paying job at ODIN. Hee. You know what’s awesome about that, besides everything? Jeffrey Tambor voices the head of ODIN, so he’ll be pitting George and Lucille Bluth against one another. That makes Archer… GOB? Yeah, he seems most like GOB.
COMEDY CENTRAL
10-10:30 IMPORTANT THINGS – Demetri explores the concept of “2”, which means that the “Funny/Cutesy” needle is going to move irrevocably in the wrong direction.
10:30-11 THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM – Sarah reconnects with her imaginary friend, who turns out to be a bad influence. Oh, how I love this show.
LIFETIME
10-11 PROJECT RUNWAY – OK, here’s the deal. Two weeks back, there was no new episode. Last week, they indicated two new episodes, but one of the new episodes was actually a mis-listed repeat. So tonight’s episode is what was listed as the second new episode last week. That means, if you have a DVR, it probably things this episode is a repeat, and you’ll need to set it specifically to record this one. Weirdly, Batman: The Brave and the Bold is having the exact same problem, and I am the only person in the world who has both of these series on “Record All”.
David Letterman: TBA
Jay Leno: Dana Carvey, Kim Kardashian, Colbie Caillat Jimmy Kimmel: Nicole Richie, Gin Wigmore Craig Ferguson: Holly Hunter, Ryan Bingham Jimmy Fallon: Michael Moore, Chris Hardwick, Broken Bells Carson Daly: Lake Bell, Jennie Ketcham, Weezer Tavis Smiley: Morgan Freeman Daily Show: Eamon Javers Colbert Report: David Aaronovitch Chelsea Lately: "Pretty Wild" stars Tess Taylor, Alexis Neiers & Gabrielle Neiers, Josh Wolf, Brad Wollack, Dan Levy Lopez Tonight: Ozzy Osbourne, Kendra & Hank Baskett, Alonzo Mourning The View: Elton John, Eric McCormack Regis and Kelly: Donald Trump, Peter Gros, guest co-host Jerry Seinfeld Ellen DeGeneres: Ed Helms, Isaiah Mustafa, Vedera Bonnie Hunt: Tracy Morgan, Katharine McPhee (R 2/25/10) FRIDAY
FOX
9-10 KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – Hey, two new episodes in two nights! Turns out, it’s good to have Gordon Ramsay on your network. He produces a million hours of TV a year, so you always have something to swap out for a cancelled show.
HBO
9-9:30 THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW – The guys discuss
David Letterman: Liev Schreiber, Jim Gaffigan
Jay Leno: Dakota Fanning, Judd Apatow, Katharine McPhee Jimmy Kimmel: After the Academy Awards special (R 3/7/10) Craig Ferguson: George Hamilton, Mike Massimino Jimmy Fallon: Parker Posey, Jason Sudeikis, Vampire Weekend Carson Daly: Ben McKenzie, the Adam Carolla Podcast Team, Lily Allen Tavis Smiley: Quentin Tarantino Chelsea Lately: Kendra & Hank Baskett, Jo Koy, Michael Yo, Sarah Colonna The View: Carolina Herrera Regis and Kelly: Ted Danson, Guy Fieri, guest co-host Anderson Cooper Ellen DeGeneres: Melissa Rycroft Bonnie Hunt: Maria Bello, RuPaul SATURDAY SUNDAY
CBS
8-9 THE AMAZING RACE – Oh, who am I kidding? This season, they might as well rename it “The Jeff and Jordan Show”. I love those two so much!
FOX
8-8:30 THE SIMPSONS – Wow. This is the 21st season, and the listing for this episode is “Bart fails to turn in his homework”. I feel like they might have covered that ground before, you know?
NBC
9-11 CELEBRITY APPRENTICE – Season Premiere! Hooray! A new season of Trump-based insanity! This season the cast includes Rod Blagojevich, Cyndi Lauper, Goldberg, Bret Michaels, and Sinbad, and in the first episode, they run a diner. It’s so beautiful, I might tear up a little.
HBO
10-11 THE PACIFIC – Series Premiere! It’s a mini-series about the Pacific Theater of War in WWII – a companion to Band of Brothers which focused on
CARTOON NETWORK
12:30-12:45 am TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW, GREAT JOB – No information available, but it’s not like you’re watching this for the plots anyway.
See you next week for the season premiere of Breaking Bad and the series premiere of Justified, which is just a sniper-wielding dog away from my Platonic ideal of a television series.
Ever yours,
Medium Hobo
“You asked what I remember. I remember dying.” – John Locke
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