| View-Do List: The 158-Pound Schedule |
| Written by EJ Feddes |
| Monday, 20 July 2009 08:00 |
Hey all!
In case you didn’t follow the Emmy nominations as closely as I did, it should be noted that Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords and Sarah Silverman were both nominated for Emmys, which is pretty awesome. Tracy Morgan was also nominated, and I’m still not convinced that he knows he’s on TV. As evidence, I cite his work in this week’s G-Force. He is providing the voice of a secret agent guinea pig. Tell me that’s not a movie Tracy Jordan would do. Of course, he would have done all his voice work over the phone and refuse to do retakes. Also, Zach Galifinakis and Will Arnett appear in the guinea pig movie. I hate to violate my policy of following any Will Arnett appearances, but this one’s just not going to work for me. Yes, I started out talking about Emmys and ended with the cast list of a talking guinea pig movie. It has been that kind of a week.
Here’s what you’ll be watching this week!
MONDAY
ABC
8-10 THE BACHELORETTE – “The Men Tell All” This should be the best episode ever, because it will involve very little of Jillian. Also, I’m hoping Wes makes fun of everybody.
10-11 DATING IN THE DARK – Series Premiere! It’s this summer’s stupidest dating show, as people hang out in a dark room to determine if physical attraction matters. Surely the results will be fascinating, right?
TUESDAY
FOX
8-10 HELL’S KITCHEN – Season Premiere! The second season this year! That’s right, Gordon Ramsay is back, and there’s a whole new crop of donkeys to humiliate. Life is good.
CBS
8-9 BIG BROTHER – Veto Competition! Hopefully, it will be as hilarious as last week’s competition, which hinged on a misspelling of the “word” “Technotronics”.
ABC
9-9:30 BETTER OFF TED – Veronica’s rivalry with her father gets out of control, while Lem and Phil discover a cure for baldness. Aw, who could have guessed that Veronica had father issues?
FX
10-11 RESCUE ME – A mysterious woman strolls through the firehouse while Tommy is punished with cleaning duty. That mysterious woman? The Late Lady Bird Johnson. (Or not.)
WEDNESDAY
ABC
8-9 WIPEOUT – Strangely, this episode is listed as “No Information Available”. If only there were a way to set my DVR to replace those words with “Guaranteed Awesome”.
9-10 I SURVIVED A JAPANESE GAME SHOW – “Contestants must immerse their heads in frigid water to catch dead fish with their mouths.” Oh, Japan. Don’t ever change.
FOX
8-10 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE – Ellen DeGeneres guest-judges as the top eight dancers perform.
BRAVO
10-11 TOP CHEF MASTERS – The chefs participate in a grocery store challenge, and the elimination challenge involves a mystery box. A mystery box? Is it dead, is it alive? The question marks they roll right off the page… (One person’s going to get that reference.)
COMEDY CENTRAL
10:30-11 MICHAEL AND MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES – You guys, the first episode of this was really great. This could be the new Larry Sanders Show. Start watching it right now before you feel stupid about missing it.
THURSDAY
CBS
8-9 BIG BROTHER – Live eviction show! You know, I had expected to like Ronnie a lot better, since he’s a nerd. It turns out, he’s also a weasel. I mean, obviously we have to deal with the whole Jessie issue before I can start turning on my own kind. But it’ll happen.
FOX
9-10 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE – Two dancers are eliminated and Katie Holmes performs a tribute to Judy Garland. Really? That’s…. random.
9-10 BURN NOTICE – A boy is terrorized by his stepfather, which is really more Law & Order territory than Burn Notice. Also, Michael receives an offer to get back into the intelligence community. You know what? This season has been really good. Yeah, I’ve got nothing funny to say. Oh, also the ad makes it look like Fiona gets shot, which isn’t cool.
FRIDAY
ABC
8:30-9 THE GOODE FAMILY – Gerald rallies the town in an attempt to bring public broadcast radio to
SATURDAY
NBC
8-9 KINGS – Series Finale! I’m not actually sure what’s happening here, since I got frustrated by the scheduling and chose to wait for the DVD’s. NBC, you’ve killed another promising show. But, you know, got to clear five hours of primetime a week for Leno.
ABC
10-11 DIRTY SEXY MONEY – Running out of episodes here. Want to see Donald Sutherland to the best work of his career? This is the place!
SUNDAY
CBS
8-9 BIG BROTHER – So, I was doing some research online today, and you know what I found out?
NBC
9-11 THE STORM – Please note, this action movie about natural disasters stars Treat Williams. Please plan your weekend accordingly.
See you next week!
Ever yours,
T.E. Pouncey
“You don’t realize how unqualified most of
“I can’t touch books! You know how afraid I am of paper cuts. They might as well make books out of knives!” – Randy Hickey
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