If you're worried you missed the American Idol recap from yesterday, worry not. I didn't finish in time. Tuesday nights are tough. First, there's Idol, and then there's Lost. And after Lost, there's the period of time following Lost when I just sigh and gasp and lament the fact my brain can't quite figure it out. Then I have my full time job ...er, jobs. Being a Superhero Supermodel Superspy takes alot of my time, and sometimes I get called to a Paris runway to thwart some diamond thieves, and my Seqway only moves so fast. So, geesh, get off my back (for readers who also look for my Bachelor recaps and Survivor recaps, same excuse). Wow! These two nights went fast. On Tuesday I went and made a pot of coffee, moved a load from the washer to the dryer, cracked open a bag of Dahrma pretzels and ...whoa ...American Idol was over. Eight performances in an hour with very little kibitzing and I didn't even know what hit me. Well, nothing hit me ...again. Luckily, there were a few bright spots on Wednesday.
So far, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and I'm going up that first hill and my stomach is tied in knots. I hate roller coasters. Not because of the speed and the falling, but because of that first hill. The click, click, click and the long climb as excitement and anticipation turns to fear (of heights, mostly, and of all the urban legends of Unionized labor and what that might mean about the construction of the very tall, free-standing structure I'm on).I've often said, if I could take an elevator to the spot where you get on the roller coaster, and I could avoid the long, slow climb, I'd go on any roller coaster in the world. But belt me into a rickety car and make me sit through the click, click, clicketty climb ...no sir. Not for me. And that's where we are, the Idol loving/viewing public ...we're click, click, clicking and we still haven't started down that first hill.
And, remember, I love everything about American Idol, so it's not like I want to sit here and moan about my favorite show on television.
Tuesday and Wednesday was "the night" for these guys and gals. Sixteen will become twelve, and their entry into the Top-12-Idol-Machina will mean they get to be on the Season 9 CD, and on tour, and get to perform on the bigger stage, and are forever remembered on the American Idol "past seasons" web pages. For as long as Idol is on the air, I'll never talk about The-Other-Black-Guy or The-Asian-Guy or any of their performances, but if White-Hair or Red-Hair happen to make it, you can bet I might bring up something they do this season. Plus, for those who grace the Top-12, they don't necessarily have to win. If they work hard and have personality, they might find themselves on E! or the TV Guide Channel discussing the contestants or interviewing Simon. Making the Top-12 opens a door, so these last two nights I expected at least 2 or 3 show stopping moments that screamed, "hey, I'm li'l Katie Stevens and I'm your next American Idol, dammit!" Instead we got some purring kittens with tiny guitars still waving to us like beauty queens on a parade float, all still hoping a pretty face and smile will be enough. "Pretty face" and a "smile" ...hmmm ..."smile..." OK. I'll start there.
So you want me talk about the abomination that was "Smile" as performed by Paige Miles? Well, I won't. Because it breaks my heart to see someone who had Simon sooo in her corner basically pick a song mostly because it will probably sound really good and heartfelt on Thursday when she gets sent home. Like picking Daughtry's "Home" as your song - it's kinda depressing as a stand-alone performance, but works great as all the other Idols tearfully watch you perform for your last time on national TV. It will take a miracle to save Paige. If my grandma were alive and watching ...whoa! ...would my grandma have loved Paige's performance Tuesday night. But my grandma, and most grandma's who are old enough to enjoy that song (a) aren't around, or (b) don't watch Idol. And what followed her performance was a eulogy on her Idol journey at the hands of the judges.
Turn the Paige. Ha! I'm clever. I'll bet you can barely find 1,000 other bloggers who've already used that clever play on words. Rarefied air. That's why you come to spunkybean, right? Speaking of other blogs, I'm going to steal an idea from a few I've seen.
Uninspired
OK, I've already covered Paige Miles. No need to revisit. But joining her in Don's-Bottom-Four will be Red-Hair, David-Archuletta-II (aka Aaron Kelley), and The-Color-Purple (aka Todrick Hall). If Red-Hair doesn't want to do anything worthy of my learning her name, I just ain't gonna. There's also a slim chance I'm wrong about David-Archuletta-II because he chose the Country genre and "I'm Already There", and like I always say, go Country and you'll make the Top-6, no questions.
Truth is, any of about 6 or 7 could leave tomorrow, and I wouldn't be surprised.
Demi-Lovato-II (aka Li'l Katie Stevens) and her version of Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" was one I sorta liked, but if you think you liked it, you are wrong. Horribly wrong. Poor, poor Katie Stevens took the judges advice, chose a more modern song, hit all her notes, and her only fault was being a deer in headlights. But geez, the judges just crushed her. I doubt Osama Bin Laden would've heard much harsher criticism. And I'm not blind. I can see she's missing that little twinkle in her eye that gets a girl the lead role in Annie while the rest of the girls just settle for "other girls in the orphanage." For some, it comes naturally. For others, it takes a lot of coaching and a lot of faking. She can't pick good songs, and she can't fake it. But she's just do darned cute, and so custom-made for teen stardom, I hope she can move on and get some coaching from the soon-to-be included celebrity mentors and music industry legends. Yes, I'm saying Barry Manilow or Mariah Carey could do a world of good for Li'l Katie.
Red-Hair chose "The Story" made semi-sorta popular by Brandi Carlile. And remember how I said she should pick an relatively unknown artist who's voice matches hers and then sing that song? Remember? Well, I wouldn't have picked a ghostly ballad, that's for sure. Hey, Red-Hair. Have you ever heard of Gwen Stefani or The Cranberries?
The-Guy-Who-Knows-Fantasia (aka The-Color-Purple, aka Todrick Hall) reminded me of something I was thinking. These first three weeks have taught me something - there's a very good reason Idol producers pick themes each week. Because, left to their own devices, most Idol wanna-bes are gonna pick really bad songs. And so went Todrick taking on Freddy Mercury's "Somebody to Love" and he must not realize Simon is British and holds his British icons near and dear to his heart. And while Randy and Ellen jumped right into the, "we loved that" category, and Kara didn't know whether to love it or laugh at it,Simon said it was good but sealed his fate as a Broadway guy. Simon thinks Todrick would be a great lead in "American Idol: The Musical". If you're keeping score, I'm suggesting American Idol: The Motion Picture (joke/observation coming up). Simon wants a musical.
Safe
Do you know the song "I Feel the Earth Move"? Do you remember when Loretta Switt was on The Muppet Show and she sang the song while monsters chased her around? Well, I do. You know you're a child of the '80s when iconic songs, like those by Carol King, are associated with everything else but Carol King. I point all this out because I have to ask - why did Sideshow-Bob (aka Katlyn Epperly) go with that song? Think about this ...if some great voices of the 2000s were to get one appearance on a big stage like this, and wanted to show off their voice, would they ever pick this song? No, they wouldn't. And for a person I think stands a great shot at winning, the judges accurately pointed out that she seemed like she was taking a request and not like someone competing at the chance of a lifetime.
The-Waitress (aka Didi Benami) went with "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac, and until earlier this week, I had no idea what the name of that song was. I shouldn't admit that.
And I guess this is where I'll put Magnus Von Magnusson (aka Siobhan Magnus) and her tribute to her father and, I guess, the fact he loved The Animals and their hit "House of the Rising Sun". Magnus V.M is the girl that, if I gave you blank sheet of paper and said, "write down the top-16", you'd have real difficulty thinking of Siobhan's name. You might only call her 'The-Girl-Who-Sang-Think' or 'The-Girl- Simon-Called-Weird, or maybe even The-Girl-with-the-Crazy-Teeth, but I'm guessing you'd simply blank on her name or any performance. I guess that's the worst thing. At least Li'L Katie Stevens will get some votes because she's just a kid and the judges are really, really mean to her. Hmm. Maybe I shoulda put Magnus in the "Uninspired" category, but what can I do now? I'm writing this on a type-writer ...I'm not starting over.
Better, But Still Not Great
Crystal Bowersox, on most nights, would've had to do a whole heckuva lot better than yet another rehash of Tracey Chapman's' "Gimme One Reason", but she's so naturally cool, and she's so surrounded by mediocre talent (so far), she shined yet again. Same with White-Hair and her tiny guitar version of Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces". It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. It would be hard to imagine White-Hair won't be in the Top-12 and on tour this summer. Only Simon said that, given her spot as the final performer, it didn't have the "wow" factor
Jeff Buckley's "Hallelulia" was The-Fifth-Joe-Bro' (aka Zac-Efron-Lite, aka Tim Urban) softly delievered Jeff Buckley's "Hallelulia", which worked. Sure, it'll always belong to Jason Castro, but it was the perfect choice for the prettiest person left in the competition. Urban's only limitation is his lacking "a big voice". Tell me? Reader Tink? Does your 12-year-old like Tim Urban best, or does she prefer the more talented fare, such as Michael Lynch (aka Big Mike) or Crystal Bowersox?
And even though the judges crushed this guy, I think Andrew Garcia's (aka The Paula-Abdul-Guy) "Genie in a Bottle" was a great choice. If Garica had done this song during Hollywood week, this would've been his high-water mark (or watershed moment) and then if he had done "Straight Up" last night, he would've been recieved in the same luke warm way. He's gonna need to rehash "Straight Up" at the first possible moment, just so we can get a tw0-minute version and the judges can get that song and that performance out of their systems. Only then ...can ...the healing begin.
Get over it, judges. Don't make me drive out to Hollywood and get wrestled to the ground by security and tazered. I'll do it.
The White-Hootie (aka Lee Dewzye) gave us a rather unspectacular version of "Fireflies", but there's just a spark with this guy. His crooked smile and his bedroom eyes (yes, I said it). When he's looking into the camera, his face just says, "hey ...you ...you know what I'm talking about." Like, I'm in on something.
The Next Level Everyone Else Can't Quite Match
Alex Lambert went with "Trouble" and I wonder, how come some people can just take a song, sound exactly like the original, and be very, very good. Is it a testament to the coolness of the song, or the artist performing it? I hardly found a note sung differently than Ray LaMontagne's version. Randy said it was too slow. Ellen kept with the ripe banana theme and said he went from green, to yellow, to now being a mushy banana. Simon said, "let yourself go." And then Kara said, "the only thing in the way of you winning ...is ...you." And when they make a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie out of American Idol, and Julia Roberts is been cast as Kara, she's going to deliver that line and win an another Academy award.
Casey James sang "You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban and it was stellar from the first strum of the guitar. I'll admit, I had never heard that song until last night. I'm not a big fan of rap music or whatever kinda music it is that Keith Urban sings. Casey James (aka Sawyer-From-Lost, aka Shirtless-Guy) seems completely at ease, right now. He's going to get the votes, and he can just be mostly-good. I have a feeling he's got all sorts of songs and performances brainstormed and this guy is going to be tough to beat.
And finally, if Ruben Studdard would've been charismatic and buff, this is what he could've been: Big Mike. So far, Michael (aka The-New-Dad, aka Nice-Suge-Knight) Lynch is running away with this competition. Kara, as reader K.K. pointed out, was obviously entertaining Aunt Flo, because she went from angry Idol-basher to sobbing basketcase. Big Mike picked "It's a Man's World" last week, and this week opted for Maxwell's "This Woman's Work." Big Mike? Um, make up your mind. No, actually, forget it ...just keep pickin' great soul ballads and killin' it. Because I love you (not enough to break into tears) and as cliched as it sounds, you are what this competition is all about. It would just be nice if there was at least one other person, male or female, playing in the same sandbox as you.
Hmm. Sandbox. I guess it's time I draw a line in the sand. I predicted 3 of the 4 correctly last week ...let's try and keep my percentage above .500. Going home Thursday has got to be Red-Hair, Paige, The-Color-Purple, and Aaron Kelly (the-young-kid, aka David-Archuletta-II).
Whaddya think? Is Simon still steering the ship and making sure tune-0ut is epic come mid-April when nobody can carry a tune? Do you think it's Kara's time of the month? Is there someone other than Crystal, Big Mike, Lee Dewyze, Casey James, or Alex Lambert who might win? I'm thinking The-Waitress could win, but she's going to have to graduate to a more up-tempo, pop song style ..and soon.
Since I missed you Wednesday, I swear I'll be back on Friday with a little something. Or else I'll just randomly talk about Survivor and my Thursday night bowling scores. Trust me, all options will be entertaining. See you then. Thanks for reading.
Well, Don, she likes a mix of both in the talent vs. looks debate (probably like most girls - you know, fickle). I asked her which was her favorite and least favorite guy/girl and why. Girls, quoting, she likes Crystal Bowersox (good singer) and Katie Stevens (likes her but doesn't know why) - she also likes the girl with the curly hair (Katelyn) and the one with the weird clothes and the weird teeth (Siobhan). She does not like Paige, no specific reason. Guys, she likes Aaron Kelly (doesn't know why and finds his looks just average) and does not like Tim Urban at all (his singing is bad) and is very glad Jermaine is gone because he was lousy and he rocked a onesie. So it appears that age is more of an bonus for her (at least so far this season) than looks.
Tink in Cali ,
March 11, 2010
+0
Tweens chime in.
Thanks, Tink. Just know, your daughter and my niece will become fully representative of all Tweens and Teens who watch Idol. I think a qual sample size of 2 is good enough. And you'll represent the MILTWIW demographic.
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