After almost seven years and an even 100 episodes, FX’s plastic surgery soap-opera, Nip/Tuck is coming to an end next week. It’s going to be a different world without Sean McNamara and Christian Troy, and their parade of boob jobs, kinky sex, familial blowouts, and the request they make at least once in every single episode – “Tell me what you don’t like about yourself”.

TV was different in 2003. If you wanted original scripted series, you watched network TV or you went over to HBO. Original cable series were few and far between. FX had previously introduced The Shield to critical acclaim and ratings success, and that opened the door for Ryan Murphy’s trashy, relentlessly misanthropic, and completely addictive new series. At the time, if a cable channel put serious money into a project, you sort of assumed it was going to be a high quality critical darling. And then Nip/Tuck came along with a premiere that involved a Botoxed penis, the leads feeding a dead pedophile to crocodiles, and the cruel marking of a naked woman to point out her flaws.

For these seven years, Nip/Tuck has remained a weird beast. Sometimes excellent, sometimes jaw-droppingly audacious, and sometimes, well, stupid, it wasn’t easy to classify. Was it quality TV? Probably not. Except when it was. It had some legitimately interesting things to say about sexuality and identity and when they wanted to bring out emotions, by damn, they did it. (Any episode about Christian and Wilbur is almost guaranteed to be fantastic.) But then they’d go over the top for shock value, and you’d suddenly feel guilty about watching it. In the end, Nip/Tuck was not always good, but it was always awesome.

It’s going to be sad not to have McNamara/Troy in our lives anymore, but we also know that it can’t go forever. They’ve gone so far over the top that any future seasons would have to involve clandestine plastic surgery on a sitting President against the backdrop of an invasion of sex robots, or else it would just seem sedate. And so, in tribute to our favorite sex-addicted plastic surgeons, we’ve compiled a list of out ten favorite over-the-top Nip/Tuck moments. And believe us, it was tough to keep it to ten. The lengthy arc about sexy kidney thieves didn’t even make the list! Nor did the calcified fetus, self-circumcision, the prostitute afflicted with stigmata, or the sex doll that was a recurring plot point for most of a season.

10. De La Mer – In Season Three, Sean’s wife Julia started a business with Christian’s ex-lover Gina and the McNamara/Troy anesthesiologist, Liz. They opened a luxury spa, which struggled at first. It was only after they came up with a signature product that they put themselves on the map. That product? Wrinkle-reducing face cream. Made out of semen. I don’t even think you want to know how they came up with the idea. And the best part of the storyline was when Joan Rivers agrees to pitch their product. That’s right, Joan Rivers endorsed a jar of sperm.

9. Humped to Death – Gina Russo (Played by Jessaly Gilsig, who’s now a regular on Ryan Murphy’s Glee) was one of the show’s best characters. A sex addict who hooked up with Christian, she made an impression in a big way. First she claimed she was pregnant with Christian’s child, who turned out to be Black. Then she was diagnosed with HIV, giving Christian, and most of Florida, an AIDS scare. Even then, she still managed to seduce him on a fairly regular basis, until a Season Five tryst on the balcony of Christian’s penthouse went horribly wrong. He lost his grip and she plummeted to her death on the street below.

8. Christian’s Broken Nose – How do you break your nose during sex? Well, if somebody sneezes when she’s… sitting on your face, that would do it. That was pretty funny, but even better is that the vain Dr. Troy decided to fix it himself. Yep, Christian tries to give himself a nose job. If you can make it through this scene without flinching (recoiling in horror, really), you are stronger than I am.

7. Worst Family Vacation Ever – In Season Five, after splitting with his wife Julia for the final, final time, Sean starts a relationship with Teddy Rowe, a seductive anesthesiologist. Teddy is hooked on nitrous oxide and has a secret husband in Vegas. On most shows that would be over-the-top, but on Nip/Tuck it’s pretty much as common as knowing somebody named “Steve”. Oh, also, in Season Five Teddy was played by Battlestar Galactica’s Katee Sackhoff, but in Season Six, it was Rose McGowan. Head over to IMDB for a minute – you couldn’t cast two actresses who look less alike. I didn’t even realize she was the same character, frankly. Anyway, she and Sean got married, but Teddy actually planned to murder Sean and his two children on a camping trip to collect the insurance money. When they’re sleeping, she tries to fill the camper with exhaust and suffocate them. The McNamaras survive, but Teddy is only about half-a-mile from the attempted crime before she runs into a serial killer, and suddenly her head is in a box.

6. The Carver – Most of Season Three revolved around a masked serial rapist who mutilated his beautiful victims, and left the calling card “Beauty is a curse on the world”. McNamara/Troy offered pro bono reconstructive surgery to his victims, angering the Carver further. He started killing his victims and attacked both doctors, scarring Sean and raping Christian. With the end of the season, we learned that the Carver was (SPOILER WARNING!) Quentin Costa, a one-time partner at their office. What pushed this into sheer, over-the-top madness is that Quentin was born without a penis. He’s smooth like a Ken doll. Which means that a strap-on was involved, and that is not something I ever thought I’d have to type. Also, he was sexually obsessed with his sister, who was a police detective that helped him evade capture. This is a thing that happened on TV, people.

5. Crazy Bear Lady – Sean spent most of Season Five as a consultant, and then actor, on the trashy medical drama Hearts and Scalpels. Sharon Gless played his agent, Colleen Rose. Only, it turned out she wasn’t an agent at all, and she actually worked at a Build-a-Bear. She was just a woman who got obsessed with Sean. When he realized she was a little off, he fired her. She still tried to help his career, since that’s what crazy people do. Especially when “helping” involves bludgeoning Sean’s new agent and then blasting cotton into his body, via a high-pressure hose inserted into his mouth, and stuffing him to death.

4. Manya Mabika’s Toe – In Season Two, Aisha Tyler made an appearance as Somali supermodel, Manya Mabika. She has it all. Well, except for a clitoris. She was the victim of female circumcision as a child, and this left her unable to ever experience orgasm. You’d think this would be an interesting look into barbaric customs in third-world patriarchies, but only if you’d never seen Nip/Tuck before. First off, and I remain unconvinced that they did actual research in this, they decide to make a functioning clitoris out of a piece of her big toe. And then, even though Sean’s the better surgeon, Christian decides he’ll take the lead on this one, due to his decades of experience. Yes, he actually says “If I build it, she will come”. Next, post-surgery, she offers to let Christian give the toe a test drive, only he doesn’t achieve the desired effect. It’s only when anesthesiologist Liz introduces Manya to the joys of self-pleasure…. You know what? There are days when I’m glad that my mother doesn’t read this site.

3. Ava Moore – Life coach Ava Moore (Famke Janssen) dominated Season Two, and for good reason. She started counseling Matt McNamara, and quickly realized he was most motivated by sexual favors. This caused some conflict with her son, who was Matt’s age, and jealous of both of them. Bisexuality and an Oedipal Complex? Yeah, that’s about right. Meanwhile, she spent her time trying to hook up with Christian, who we just learned was Matt’s biological father. When he finally decided that the best way to driver her away from Matt was with his penis, Christian quickly realized that Ava was actually Avery – a transsexual. The Mona Lisa of transsexuals, according to her ex-husband and surgeon, Alec Baldwin. Even better, she popped up years later as a dream figure who introduced the concept of parallel realities into Nip/Tuck. There is not a show on TV that wouldn’t be improved with the addition of Ava Moore to the cast.

2. There’s No Good Way To Say This – OK, so Allegra Calderello has a nickname that I’m not going to print here. See, her lips are badly burned, and she goes to McNamara/Troy for skin grafts. We also learn that her husband doesn’t like to, uh, go south of the border. He’s old school Sicilian, and that’s just not done. At least according to The Sopranos. So, the doctors replace her lips with skin from the folds from her vagina, so unbeknownst to her husband, every time they kiss, she’s getting a small measure of revenge. It’s the oldest story in the book.

1. Matt McNamara: Mime Bandit! – You know, every character has fans. No matter how loathsome or poorly-realized they are, somebody loves them. Unless they are Matt McNamara. Nobody loves him, and they never will. For a lot of Nip/Tuck fans, the moment in Season Three when a gang of homosexuals beat Matt to a pulp and then pee on him is a favorite moment. But he finally became entertaining in Season Seven when, in the most batshit insane plotting ever, he became a Mime Bandit. By this I mean that he would walk into stores and mime robbing them, then pull a gun and actually rob them. And this went on for several episodes! And it was awesome! When he was finally arrested, as a mime bandit would eventually be, he was, well, traumatized by his cellmate. And in the greatest “Screw you” in TV history, Christian offered to help him. Not to pull strings to get him released or even transferred. No, he slipped Matt some prescription drugs, that when added to his cellmate’s food would leave him impotent. That’s right, Christian’s fatherly instincts led him to make it more difficult for his son’s cellmate to rape him.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m going to miss Nip/Tuck.